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But can I ask you a question?”“Sure,” I said.“Why didn’t you join me?”That stopped me cold, and I took a while to answer. I thought about Darren, I thought about the pain. And it occurred to me that I had never given myself permission to climax after that episode. I didn’t want to kick that hornet’s nest of emotion and conflict. Every time I played with myself and found the erotic sensations growing, some sort of “safety valve” kicked in and killed them.And that’s what I told Erin. It took me a. I napped on the flight and didn't even notice when we landed at Nawng-awn to pick up half of the Thai A-Team.Sergeant Baker woke me just before we landed, and the Major reminded all of us to stay alert for a recall before we all disbursed to get paid. The Team House had vehicles here to take their people to get paid. I was paid at my unit here on the Airbase.Noon, the Sergeants, their wives, and children were still at the Team House when I arrived there, but I only had eyes for Noon. She looked. I had seen people do it at my house growing up with an addict mother. I had promised myself I would never use it, ever. I inhaled the sweet tasting smoke. An insane rush came over me. I felt euphoria like I had never felt before. Any anxious feelings completely disapeared. My heart was racing as Lawrence took a few hits. We had talked about getting a guy over to play with but Lawrence felt the high would give him the nerve to go through with it with me. As Lawrence had hooked up with Gay guys. Typically, for women, they (a) wanted to make sure that we would be totally discreet, never mentioning that they'd been here, and (b) wanted full details about my other 'clients'. At least one of them was an undercover journalist - I found that out when her recorder dropped out of her bag.I talked it over with my family, and we decided that if the tabloid newspapers wanted to pay me a thousand pounds a fuck for no information at all, we were more than willing to take it.The laboratory work was.
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